Countdown. 4, 3, 2, 1...

Countdown for another four days to go home. I have this habit of counting how many nights do I have to wait before going home. At night or rather early morning (because I normally sleep at 2am or 3am), I would count how many nights do I have to sleep on this super duper hard bed before I can go home and sleep on my soft and comfortable bed.

To be honest, for this raya and mid-semester break, I do not have the urge to go home so badly. Maybe it is because I have just went home three weeks ago. Or maybe I am afraid to come back to Kelantan again. I have to wait for nine weeks before I can go home again somewhere in late November. These nine weeks are going to be very hard to go through. No matter what, I still have to try my best to appreciate and make good use of these nine weeks in my life. For we have to treasure each and every second in our life. We do not know what will happen to us the next second.

So, I have to work harder and try to complete all my assignments before going home. I must make good use of my this two weeks break and enjoy it till the max. I believe I can do so. Go, Pei Yen, go...

Searching For The Right Dress

My first time attending a graduation ball, or rather more commonly known as prom night was after I finished my STPM examination. My best friend and I were really excited to attend the ball. In fact, we went shopping for our dresses two months before the event. At that time, we were supposed to be studying hard because our exam was in a month's time but we did not and we actually went on a prom dress hunting trip.

It was so much fun and excitement searching for the right dress together with my best friend. We went into each and every shops in Sunway Pyramid to check out their dresses. We actually spent half a day in the shopping mall. We browsed through the dresses and tried on the "high potential" ones. We had so much fun trying on different types of dresses. We were each other's fashion consultant. "No, not this one. It is too short.", "This colour does not suit you, my dear. Try out the white one.". These are some of our professional advices to one another. This whole thing - shopping with my best friend, meant a lot to me because I am the only daugther in my family, and I have longed for a sister so that I can go shopping with her.

Back to the dress, I have to admit that I have a fond for tube dress. I really like tube dress but I do not mind getting a halter neck dress as long as I look nice in it. However, I do have luck on that day because I managed to find a nice tube dress. The dress was available in four colours: black, peach, green and purple. I tried on the black and peach ones. I put on the peach one first and I was like, "Oh my, I really like this peach tube dress. Tube dress, peach colour, both my favourite." But I stopped to think for a moment and yes, I realised that this peach dress is more suitable as an outfit for a bridesmaid rather than as a prom dress. So I tried out the black one. "How gorgeous is this dress." This was on my mind at that moment. I liked this dress very much too. This black dress has an additional advantage whereby it made me look slimmer. Then, I asked my friend for opinion, whether I should take the peach one or the black one. Well, we had the same thinking and therefore I got the black one.

My friend managed to get a beautiful fuchsia dress. The dress was really fitting but luckily it was stretchable. People would really need help in putting on this kind of dress. Therefore, I actually went into the fitting room with her and gave her a hand by pulling her dress down because it was too fitting that it got stuck at her shoulders and she could not pull it down by herself. After that, I told her not to wear that dress when nobody is around because she can really get stucked in this kind of dress. But it is definitely worth going through this kind of small matter because she looked beautiful in that dress.

Mission accomplished. We went home happily because we managed to find the suitable dress that we like. After finding the right dress, we were supposed to start studying hard for the upcoming major exam but we did not. Instead, we started planning our next agenda - where and how should we style our hair for the prom. Well, this is us. My friend and I, we do not really like studying, and our way of studying is different from normal people. We always study last minute. When I said last minute, I really meant it. Normally, we would start studying two to three days before the exam, and the most is one week before but nothing longer than that. I am still wondering how we managed to pass the exam. But this is my life, so I decide how I should study and how I live my life. I want to excel in my studies but I also want to enjoy my life at the same time and I do not want to miss out any fun parts in my life. Therefore, I do not care about how other people study as long as I can cope with my studies and I can live my life the way I want.

The Fallen Angel

Yesterday afternoon, my friends and I took part in an anthropometry project conducted by a post-graduate student . We agreed to be the subjects for the anthropometry project. One of my friends took the measurements first and I was the second person in line. That friend of mine asked us not to look at her while the doctor was going through the procedures. Therefore, I took her chinese newspaper and climb up the bed. I got attracted by the pictures on the cover of the metro section. So I decided to go through that article first before reading other sections. I read the title of the article and I felt sad instantly. This article is about a little girl who passed away 135 days after the doctor diagnosed her with brain tumour.

Elena Desserich was five years old when the doctor told her parents that there was a tumour in her brain. He told them she has no chance of survival because surgery could not be done to remove the tumour and that she only has 3 to 6 months of time remaining. Her parents were devastated and the time left is not much; not enough time for them to watch their daughter attending driving classes, having her first date, getting married and having her own children.

Surgery could not be performed and therefore the only option for Elena was chemotherapy. However, the drugs made her nauseous. The first time she started vomitting was the time when her father brought her to the cinema for a movie. She started complaining of feeling sick not long after they arrived there. Without any toilets in sight, her father was forced to use both his hands as a vomit bucket. After that, they went to the toilet to clean up. Oh my, after reading these paragraphs, I know that tears are going to flow out of my eyes real soon. I felt so sorry for Elena. I was imagining the scene at the cinema. How sad and how helpless they were.

Her clothes and pants were dirtied by the vomit and she was standing in the gent's room with only her panty on. Elena asked her father why was there a tumour in her brain? Why her friends did not get this disease? She has asked her parents these questions for a month. But her parents did not have answers to her questions. They could only tell themselves that this is a test from God, to test their faithfulness in God.

Elena was a lovely girl, she was cute, smart, active and she loves to smile. However, this disease changed her. She became tired easily. As time passed by, she had difficulties speaking and moving her right arm. Afraid that Elena might lose her speaking ability and sight soon, her parents tried their very best to teach her sign language, hoping that she can communicate with the world despite her disabilities.

Anyhow, the cruel reality happened. As her condition worsened, she could not talk and move her right hand any more. This made her no longer able to use sign language to express her thoughts and the worst thing was she could not even describe and tell other people about her pain.

Finally, the day had come. Elena passed away. Her parents were packing her things and they were suprised to find heart-shaped messages with the words, "I Love You" on them. Elena wrote the messages when she was still able to write at that time. She hid them everywhere, inside the drawers, slits of the couch, her father's bag... Her family started a treasure hunt and they managed to find hundreds of these messages from every corner of the house. Each and every message was what Elena wanted to tell them, that she loves them and she hope that these messages will give them the courage to live on happily.

Her parents set up a foundation called "The Cure Starts Now" (CSN). The foundation is meant to help children with brain tumour. They hope that children with this disease will have courage just like their daughter, to face it together with their families.

Elena's courage in facing her disease enables us to see that love, is the most powerful thing on earth; eventhough we may die and leave this world, but our love is eternal, it is ever lasting and it is the best present for those who are left behind.

I felt sad rading this article. A child should not suffer like Elena did. He or she should have a happy childhood; playing with toys, jumping and running around... Maybe God has a different plan for these people. I believe everything happens for a reason. So those who are left behind, please do live on with courage because the deceased would want you to live happily.

Babysitting

My mom is a babysitter. So I get to be around babies and children. I remember the first baby came into our family when I was in Standard Five. Well, my parents have always tell my brothers and I that we must treat the kids like our own brothers and sisters because they are a part of our family. Back to the point, the first baby was a boy. He was only two months old then. Oh my, he was small and thin. At first, I dare not carry him because he looked fragile and I was afraid that I might hurt him. After three months, I finally had the courage to carry the baby boy.

Two years later, his little brother came along. This baby was totally different from his older brother. He was very chubby unlike his older brother who was very thin. I can still remember the first time I met this little guy. It was a Saturday morning, I woke up and went to my parents bedroom. I was suprised to see a baby on the bed because he was supposed to come on the following Monday. I walked to the bed and had this beautiful sight. A chubby baby with two deep dimples on his cheeks smiling happily at me. At that time, I was thinking, "Oh my, this baby is very cute and he is smiling at me as if he is introducing himself to me, telling me that he is my new little brother." Then, I asked my mom why is the baby here today. She told me that his parents have something on and therefore, they need to leave the baby with us. That was my first time meeting him and that moment was so beautiful that I can still remember it clearly.

To be honest, I did not really babysit the two boys back at that time because I, myself was considered as a kid who still needs others' care. I started to help my mom babysit when another baby girl from another family came into our family. I was sixteen at that time and I was mature enough to babysit. This time, I was not afraid to carry newborn baby anymore because I have already got the experiences needed.

I have two biological brothers and I am the only daughter in the family. Therefore, I was very excited to have a baby sister. My brothers and the two boys were also very excited. Everyone welcomed her into our big family.

I was in Form Four at that time, I went to school in the morning and came home in the afternoon. I helped my mom to babysit the baby girl after school. I feed her milk, I changed her diapers, I sang to her nursery rhymes, I played with her and much more. When she was eight months old and it was time for her to start having semi-solid food. I fed her baby cereals and porridge. Cereals and porridge are very messy. When I feed her, she would turn her head around. The food would end up being all over her face. Sometimes I would laugh at her because the cereal or porrige on her upper lips looked like a moustache. Thinking back, I had lots of fun feeding her porridege then.

After I finished my STPM, I worked for five months and then I left my job because I have decided to take some time off and to stay at home before entering university. My darling sister was four years old then and she started going to kindergarten for pre-school study. Back then, I was very free and therefore I took care of her. Everyday, except for Saturdays and Sundays of course, I would bathe her after she came back from school. After that, I would feed her lunch. The next agenda would be coaching her on her homeworks. Can you believe it, pre-schoolers do have homeworks nowadays. After homework coaching session, it would be putting her to bed for her afternoon nap. After she fell asleep, I would take a nap too. When she woke up in the evening, it would be time for dinner. We would have dinner together while catching up on dramas. Then, her parents would pick her up in the evening or at night, sometimes at 7 pm, sometimes 8 pm, sometimes 9pm or even 10 pm.

So these are my experiences of babysitting. Honest speaking, I really miss those time I spent together with my little brothers and sister. Well, this is life and I have to leave home to further my studies in Kelantan. But I can still meet them up when I go home during holidays and semester breaks. And yes, I cannot wait to go home for this mid-semester and raya break. I get to spend some quality time together with my family members soon.

Wide Open

I am wide open,
To shield you,
My master,
From the sun,
From the rain.

I am wide open,
You can hide in me,
My master,
When you are in fear,
When you need a place to drop some tears.

I am wide open,
For I know you need me,
Do not worry,
My master,
I will be there for you.

I am reaching the end of my life,
Yet it does not matter,
For I will continue to serve you,
My master,
Till the day,
The day of the end of my life.

Mother

Everyone has a mother. He, she, you and me, all of us have our own mother. I believe all mothers in this world are different from each other in many aspects but they definitely have one thing in common. They have different looks, different personalities, different ways of thinking and so on but one thing is for sure - they love their children very much. I can see the burn marks and scars on her hands. The red patches are formed when her hands get in contact with sprinkles of hot oil during cooking. Yet, she does not mind getting injuries as long as her darlings can have wonderful meals. "Remember to eat, my dear. No matter how, you must eat or else you will get gastric again. Please, do not make me worry about you." I can always hear this in a familiar voice no matter where I am. Even if I am far away from home, she will give me a ring and remind me. How lovely, I have a sniff of the freshly washed pillow case. The smell makes me feel warm and safe, and I always associate it with her. I longed for going home. At home, I can have the specially made barley and ginkgo soup. I can taste the sweetness and happiness where I can hardly find it from anywhere else. Now that I am so far away from her that I feel so lonely and I miss her so much. I have finally realised that I have took her for granted and I have never tell her how much I need her in my life and how much I love her. Maybe I do not have to because she has already known this deep down in her heart. Maybe she does not even mind whether I tell her that or not because she will always love me no matter what happens. She is the moon that revolves around the earth all year long. My mother is the guardian angel that will always be with me.

A Memorable Trip

Five of my university friends and I went to Singapore for vacation. To be honest, this is my very first experience of going overseas. Therefore, this trip is very memorable to me. In addition, this is not just an ordinary all girls trip, it is very meaningful to all of us because we celebrated a girl's 21st birthday there.

The six of us, Jee Leng, Sue Mei, Shi Yin, Davina, Jin Ting and I are from different states. Three of us are from Selangor; others are from Kelantan, Pahang and Melaka. Therefore, another three came to Selangor one day before so that all of us can take a bus to Singapore together.

This is a four days three nights trip. On the first day, we arrived at the apartment of Jee Leng's sister around three o'clock in the afternoon. After that, we went to Suntec City Mall for dinner and Esplanade to enjoy the night view of Singapore. The second day was a shopping day. We went to the shopping malls along Orchard Road. I enjoyed myself very much because I really like shopping.

However, I enjoyed the third day the most. We went to Sentosa Island in the afternoon and Night Safari in the evening. 18th June is Sue Mei's birthday and we have decided to celebrate her birthday in a special way. We never mentioned a word about her birthday for the whole day. After coming home from Night Safari, we surprised her by waiting for her outside the bath room with a cake in Jee Leng's hands and all the lights off. We sang a birthday song to her and then she cut the cake after making a wish. We had cake and milk as supper before going to bed.

I am really glad that we took hundreds of photographs in this trip. Thanks to Jee Leng, our photographer for taking the photographs. These photographs are really important because when I look at them, I recall about the moments we spent together. I really thank my friends for being in the beautiful memories of this memorable trip. I will always remember them.